It's time

One of the many truths I've learned from AA is people will change only when they are ready to. For far too long I've lied to myself, so much that I have accepted what I say as truth. I've said I am comfortable and content with the way I am, when in actuality I'm tired & frustruated & frankly, quite scared. I have been unhappy for a couple of months now. Not exactly depressed but discontent. And I've been non-compliant with my medication regimen, so I'm extremely surprised I haven't gone WAY off into the deep end! So now is the time for a lifestyle mini-makeover.

First and foremost I will resume the all important meds. I will include a vitamin regimen as well. Hopefully, when I get back to "therapeutic levels" I will be able to take on the other changes I need to make without fear or those feelings of being extremely overwhelmed (feelings I'm sure others with bipolar can understand on a greater plane than the average bear).

Next, I would like to lose weight & exercise. I've reached a very uncomfortable 213 pounds, with a BMI of 36. My blood pressure is higher than it has ever been, my cholesterol is 385 (no, that's not a typo), my feet & hands are always swollen, I have sleep apnea from the weight & the wonderful breast reduction I had done 2 years ago is starting to look like it was all for nothing. My long range goal is to drop 53 pounds (that's 25% of my current body weight). My immediate goal is to lose 5% in 30 days (10 pounds, down to 203). Also, I will exercise once a week--hey, baby steps...I don't want to set myself up for failure. Once I make a habit of once-a-week exercise I will add another day.

I have other areas in my life that need attention, but I don't want to bite off more than I can chew, so to speak. I like trying to describe my current situation or feelings with a movie line or saying from a favorite TV show. At this point, I will conclude my lifestyle proclamation by quoting from THE PATRIOT...aim small, miss small. This shall be my mantra, my commitment to taking baby steps so that I my achieve my goals without getting discouraged or feeling overwhelmed. ASMS...baby steps.